Rainy days and blah feelings

Today I woke up feeling as if I should be following a rabbit down a hole. This particular rabbit has been following me for days. Adventures have been there, but following these small adventures have been some dissappointments. A lot of my friends have said, "Keep your chin up. Stay positive. Things'll work out when you least expect it." People keep telling me this, but the thing is, WHEN DO YOU NOT EXPECT SOMETHING?? There is always, somewhere, in the corners of your mind an expectation, a wish, a hope, or a dream. When things get rough, there are always doubts. When situations won't seem to let you be, staying positive can end up being the furthest thing from your mind. I can't seem to get past this gray area. One of my friends told me, "The rain has to end sometime." My response, "I know it has to end, but it's rained so much that I feel like I've been drowning in my own little sea of rain." Yes, I know this sounds like I'm having a pity party, but I've needed to vent for a while.

This all started when I finally started liking a guy that goes to my school. We hung out, flirted, but then the next day my bff talked to him and asked how he felt about me. "She's sweet, but I don't see her that way." How do you flirt with someone and not even see them that way in just the tiniest way? I don't understand it either.

^_^ I wrote that a few days ago. Spring break has hit and well....ya. Not much has happened. Spring break is supposed to be this "awesome fantastic" time when things just happen and you can't know what's going to hit. For me, well, spring break has been rather bland with a few spots of wooohoo, that was fun. I played 'Ninja' in the middle of a mall with my best friends. I have a job opportunity, I'm babysitting this Thursday, and that night is movie night with my best friends. I may also be taking photos for my friends. *smiles* This is not a typical college student's spring break but for me, spring break has always been just a week with no school. I'm weird, but that's ok. Not thinking back on what was going on this past week and my little worries I know that things'll work out...eventually. But for now I'm just going to have fun with my friends, work, and be me.

So this spring break or even if it's not and you're just working, going to school, or just doing what you do, no matter what, be yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff and go with the flow.

truly yours as always,

Patricia J. xxxx

"Freedom lies in being bold."--Robert Frost